Living While We Wait

                                                    Neil and I celebrating my birthday.

While we wait to welcome a child into our home life must go on. A life that is focused on the Lord, focused on each other, and focused on preparing our hearts and lives for the doors God will open for us. Trying to have a biological child has been taxing both emotionally and financially. There is always the hope that “this month” we will be pregnant. We have had that hope for over three years, still no child. Infertility hurts. It’s hard, it can be lonely, and painful in ways you didn’t think of or know existed when this journey unexpectedly began.

 We chose to walk down the path of adoption, as we had always planned on doing. God seemed to lead us to a wonderful small Christian adoption agency. There we are waiting for a birth mother/father to choose us. We began working with them in February. Still we wait. We have no idea how long we will wait. It could be a year, two years, three, or more. I recently read of a couple who waited for six years before they were able to adopt. In my heart I was crying, “Oh please Lord, don’t make us wait six years!”

What are we doing while we wait? We are living life. Living to the fullest, and learning patience in God’s perfect timing while we do so. We are saving the rest of the money needed for an adoption. With every dollar we add we are so grateful for the generosity of other's who have blessed us! We are adding the finishing touches on our home remodeling. (Painting and more painting is needed.) We are decorating two rooms in our home. One a boy’s room, one a girl’s room as we dream of the children who may live in them one day. In the meantime our nephews and nieces are able to use them when here. 

We are enjoying each other and growing in our marriage. We desire to serve the Lord together and be a blessing to those around us. We are enjoying all the times spent with our family and friends. We are delighting in our little nephews and nieces and all the days and times we spend with them. We enjoy drives on Sunday afternoons, stopping in a park for a walk on occasion. 

We are so happy for any friends or family who are able to welcome a new child into their home. We are very aware of the great blessing God has just bestowed on the family where that baby has been born. We are thrilled for the family who has been able to adopt a child and welcome them into their hearts. We are busy, we are happy, we are living in the present, and yes, we are waiting. One thing the last years have taught us is, we must live.

We don’t want to live our lives in constant anguish, or bitterness, or tears because we haven’t been able to have children. We are human, both of us. We have our times of tears, the moments of asking God why. The fears that we won’t “measure up” to whatever birthparents are looking for and we will never be chosen to be the family for a child. We daily hope that maybe “tomorrow” will be the day we get a call saying we have been “chosen”, yet with each passing day a new tomorrow begins.

 Something we have learned in this journey is of our heart’s great desire to have children. We talk and pray for the day God will bless us. You learn how precious something is to you when you can’t and don’t have it. There's nothing wrong with hoping for and longing for the day when we will be parents. The day when a child will bring such joy to our hearts. Yet, God is and must be our greater desire. We are living for Him, and because of that we can wait. We can learn to be patient. We can learn to have hope. We can learn to have peace in our stormy moments of fear and impatience. We can learn to be thankful for all the blessings and gifts God has bestowed on us. We can learn that God is love and to trust that He knows His plans for our lives.

So if you are wondering what we are doing. We are living while we wait.  

Adoption Fundraiser Thank You

Our youngest niece, Deborah, who is named after Jennifer's Mom. Isn't she beautiful! Our nephews and nieces can't wait to have cousins. They are trying their best to be patient. :-)

The Adoption Fundraiser through The Modest Mom Blog was amazing. Thank you!
In total there was $1, 816.00 donated during the fundraiser! What a great blessing. We wanted to thank each and every one who has participated in the adoption fundraiser at The Modest Mom Blog. It has been a blessing and encouragement to read the comments that were shared. For those who have walked this path before, or are walking this path now, our hearts are with you. 


We really appreciate the prayers being offered. We greatly appreciate those who shared a financial donation. Each and every donation was a great blessing and we were so excited by this. Thank you to all! Thank you to our sweet sister/sister-in-law who had it on her heart to begin this adoption fundraiser on our behalf. We want to thank each company that donated an item for this adoption fundraiser. It was wonderful to see your willingness to help and share.

We are choosing joy daily and desiring to be patient as we wait. We are looking forward to the day ahead when God brings a child to our home. We don’t know when that will be, but we have some love 

to share when that day comes. Thank you to all for helping us reach for that day.

Blessings,

Neil and Jennifer Allen

Adoption Fundraiser with over $700 in Prizes!

From Jennifer Allen~
My sweet sister who blogs at The Modest Mom blog has asked a number of businesses to take part in an adoption fundraiser on our behalf. I was overwhelmed by those willing to take part in the fundraiser! Caroline was very excited as well. So thank you for all who were willing to donate for the fundraiser. Thank you to all who will take part in the fundraiser. We appreciate you!


The Adoption Fundraiser can be found here.

My Mother Dear-Part 2

You can read My Mother Dear-Part 1 here.

                                  My Mother, Deborah, holding a newborn granddaughter.

(Later in life she wanted to be called her legal name Deborah instead of Debbie.)

     After high school graduation Debbie entered into some wrong paths. Debbie began to feel disgusted with who she was and what she was doing. She would pause to reflect upon her life, not happy with the direction she was going. Debbie didn't know what was causing her uneasy heart. Debbie soon realized what it was, it was Jesus knocking at the door of her heart asking entrance in. She had a longing to leave the "old ways" of her life behind her. Debbie left them behind and never looked back. At that point Debbie was 21. In a matter of months she was married to a man who had very recently become a Christian himself. A new life was beginning to unfold.

     Debbie desired greatly to walk with Christ. She would open up God's Word and treasure the truth she was reading. She read that God wanted her to train up her children in His ways. This was a responsibility she took very seriously. As long as Debbie could remember she had wanted to be a Mommy. As a little girl her greatest joy was being "mommy" to be her younger sisters and to her dolly. She loved children!  By this time she was expecting her first child Jennifer. (That's me!) Debbie was trying to learn as fast as she could so that she could begin to teach her baby girl. In the next six years there would be a little boy born, Jason, followed by a little girl, Caroline. 

     In the years that followed our Mom threw her heart into being the best mother she could be, with the Lord as her guide. When she got sick with Lupus at the age of 39 she realized she had a lot of  head knowledge in her walk with Christ, but lacked in trusting completely in Him. Mom had a lot of vision for the pathway that she wanted her children raised. She taught us we must learn to depend on Jesus. There is not a single person on this earth that can meet our needs in our trials. There is not a single person on this earth who would even be able to recognize all that we are dealing with inside when we are in a trial. But God knows us, and He knows everything about that. We were taught many things by our mother. We were taught by her words, and we were taught by example. This was our eternal heritage from our mother. 

     These are examples of what I believe my heritage from my mother was. My "Mother Dear" as I called her was very faithful to give us a heritage of faith. She gave us the example of a woman who desired a true walk with Christ. Our heritage is having a mother who had a faith in God our Creator. Our heritage is having a mother who was a sinner, but would weep and repent of her sins. Our heritage is having a mother who chose to follow her God until the last breath she had on this earth. Our heritage is seeing our mother trip and fall and stumble as she served her Lord, but by the grace of God she got back up and continued in the race. Our heritage is of a mother who saw everything that God created for our eyes to see, our ears to hear, as a direct gift from God and a choice blessing for life. Mom spoke many times how God had taught her of His ways through His awesome beautiful creation. Finally, we have a heritage of a mother who did suffer in the flesh with many afflictions, but she continually cried out to her God. She cried for deliverance and comfort with a desire to learn the lessons God was teaching her in the midst of the trials. She was assured that her God would never ever leave her. She was assured He had a perfect love for her. She was assured that He filled her cup with an overflowing sweet treasure of God’s amazing grace. 

When my Mother's life ended at a young age this was the song on her heart to her God:

If I could sing a thousand melodies,
I would sing and never cease, how great my God
I'd sing of love, His wisdom, might and power,
Each day and passing hour I'd sing of Him


If I could sing of God's great love for me
Like one great symphony my song would be
I'd sing of Christ and all He's done for me
Throughout eternity I'd sing of Him


I'd climb some mountain high
I'd sing into the sky
Till heaven and earth would hear my song
If I could sing a thousand melodies
I'd sing and never cease, how great my God
Amen.

     My mother was beautiful to me. My mother was precious to me. I owe the fact that I can't remember a time that I didn't know the name of Jesus and want to live for Him to my Mother. I'm grateful beyond words for the life she lived. The decision of one 15 year old girl, to choose life for her baby instead of an abortion, gave me my mother. That was the bravest and most unselfish decision I believe my Grandma ever made.

She chose Deborah, a beautiful gift from God. She chose Life.

   

Nursing Patterns for Sale

BD 1001 Nursing Sewing Patterns

                                                      BD 1002 Nursing Sewing Pattern

                                                      BD 1003 Nursing Sewing Pattern

I have three different nursing sewing patterns for sale. These 3 patterns were designed by Angela Coffman of Blessed Designs. She has decided to switch from physical patterns to digital to be spend more time with her family and less on shipping. She graciously gave me the rest of her physical sewing patterns to use to raise funds for our adoption. If interested these are the patterns I have:

Blessed Designs pattern BD1001 a nursing shirt, and 2 dress pattern styles sizes XS-XXL
( I have 260 of these)

Blessed Designs pattern BD1002 a nursing shirt, jumper pattern sizes XS-XXL
( I have 360 of these)

Blessed Design pattern BD1003 nursing hoodie styles pattern sizes XS-XXl
( I have 80 of these)

All patterns were printed by McCalls and have fabric needed, sizing, notions, etc printed on the back. All pattern envelopes and pattern pieces are standard McCalls pattern sizing.

The patterns are available for $3.75 each plus shipping. They sold retail for $11.99

If interested please email Jennifer at: allenadoptionjourney@gmail.com 

We can accept payment by check or PayPal. 

Tears and Hope

One of my favorite baby photos of our niece Olivia.

I ran across the link to this video about infertility. I thought it was a lovely video that gives those who don't deal with infertility a chance to glimpse the heart and emotions of those who are traveling in this difficult journey. While I don't relate to every trial shared, it brought tears to me eyes. For those longing to have a child, yet unable to, the wait for God to bring children is difficult and seemingly never ending. Watch Tears and Hope to help see through the eyes of infertility.

The 33:4 Drive

I'm excited about the project called the 33:4 Drive. For Missouri residents it is a wonderful way to contribute to a visual memorial of the babies we have lost in Missouri to abortion. At Show Me 4 Life a home school senior came up with the idea of collecting 600,000 diaper/safety pins. The purpose would be to create a portable resource for Missouri Right to Life to display as a memorial and visual representation of Missouri's 600,000 victims of abortion. Briefly stated, the purpose of the 33:4 Drive is to share Christ, remember abortion victims, defend life, promote charity, and encourage political activism this election year and in the years to follow. If you would like to participate, please visit the website for further information on helping. If you are from another state this may be a worthy endeavor to consider for your home state!

200 Safety Pins=200 Lives

 Show Me 4 Life is going to have a collection point set up at Missouri’s capitol building from 9:00 A.M – noon during the Pro-Life Action Day on Tuesday, March 27, 2012.

Two collection points and their corresponding pick up dates are listed below:

College of the Ozarks in Point Lookout, MO–Friday, May 4, 2012

Mardel Christian & Education in Independence, MO–Monday, May 7, 2012

If you are willing to manage a regional collection point in another area , please contact Show Me 4 Life!

Phone:  (816) 518-1380 
E-mail:  emptytomb@showme4life.com

My Mother Dear- Part 1

All that I am, or ever hope to be, I owe to my Angel mother. ~Abraham Lincoln

From Jennifer Allen

This is a tribute to my Mother Dear, the one held so close to my heart. I share the story of a woman who went through many trials and joys in this earthly life. She was a woman of deep Christian faith. She desired above all to raise her three children to love and serve the Lord Jesus. Her life was shortened by an early death July 16, 2010 at the age of 54. She left behind a legacy as a Christian mother that deserves to be shared. Her life is a testimony and inspiration that I desire to share with you. She was a woman who gave us as her children all the time, attention, and love a mother can. She was my mother hero. I look to her example to guide me in the days ahead. The fact that she was even born into this world at all is a miracle due to the brave decision of my grandma. Without that decision I myself would not be alive today. It is a decision that has strongly influenced me in my view of children, the right to life, and adoption. So let me share...

It was 1955. Mary, a 15 year old girl thought on the news she had to share with her mother and new step-father. To add to her tension, she had no idea what the reaction to her news would be. Her mother had been, to put it mildly, not a good mother to this point in her young life. The new step-father had taken a disliking to her from the beginning and her news would add fuel to the fire. It had to be done. It had to be shared, this news that she was pregnant. The reaction to the announcement was difficult to say the least. Mary’s step-father had issued an ultimatum. Mary needed to get an abortion or be kicked out of the house. Mary’s decision was crucial to the little one in her womb. She chose life. Leaving her parents soon after, Mary was sent to a home for pregnant teenagers. There she would spend the next months waiting for her baby’s birth. The plan was to give the baby up for adoption. Shortly after a baby girl was born on July 21, 1955 Mary asked to hold the baby she was soon to see no more. The nurse reluctantly agreed and left to retrieve the precious bundle. Mary held her baby and looking down in her sweet face she knew she couldn’t do it. She couldn’t give this baby up for adoption. Instead she named her baby Deborah holding close the life she had brought into the world. It was a day of great importance in our lives. For you see, that little baby girl would one day become our mother.

 Somehow God works in mysterious ways we can’t understand. Mary’s mother came to visit and see her little granddaughter shortly after she was born. Mary said Deborah was her “little angel sent from heaven”. Indeed she was. Grandma Pauline quickly fell in love with the sweet smiling baby and somehow her new husband’s heart was changed. Mary was allowed to come back home. In the months ahead Grandma Pauline would care for her grand baby while Mary chose to drop out of high school and support herself and Deborah.

 A few months later Mary had just landed a new job. She was to be a car hop at a local drive-in restaurant. It was a weekend evening the day she started. Glenn was sitting in a car with a friend and saw the new car-hop  as she began that first day of work. Glenn thought she was the cutest girl he had ever seen. He turned to his friend and said, “I’m going to ask her to marry me.” Soon after they started dating and Glenn made good on that promise. Six months later on May 5^th, 1956 they were married. They started out on their young married life with Mary age 16, Glenn age 19, and one little baby, Deborah to care for.

Deborah, soon to be nicknamed Debbie, was as we were told the nearly perfect child. She was happy, full of smiles, and rarely got in trouble. She loved to make people happy, and that included her parents. In the years that followed the little family grew, first with a younger sister born. Then twins were born, a little boy and little girl. Sadly, Debbie’s little brother died the day he was born. Several months later the twin sister came home from the hospital and in that moment the little family was complete.

When Debbie was 4 her “step-father” adopted her. He was the only Daddy she had ever known. Glenn took her on a car ride to try to explain it to her. Debbie was just too young to understand and the subject was dropped. She was to forget the words that day, it was hidden from that point on, and she didn't know the truth again until the age of 21.

Debbie’s home growing up was one of love and struggle. Her parents lived on a meager income that gradually grew as the years went by. Most of her younger years Debbie’s mother stayed at home with her children. Debbie was often found playing dolls and playing house. From a very young age she loved pretending she was a mommy. She never lost that desire. It was to be the life work in later years that she poured herself into.

Growing up Debbie didn’t live in a home of practicing Christians. Her parents took her to church on and off awhile growing up. On occasion she would go to church reunions or Sunday school class with her Grandma Pauline. Mom said she didn’t learn to say everyday prayers. She didn’t learn to appreciate prayers before she went to sleep each night. In her bedroom, right over her head, was a prayer that frightened her as a child because of these words: 

“Now I lay me down to sleep,

  If I should die before I wake,

        I pray the Lord my soul to take.”

Debbie was afraid for a really long time that she really might die if she fell asleep.

Despite attending church on occasion, Christ was not an important part of her life. He was set in the corner, real, but not acknowledged. At the age of 21 her life was about to change dramatically.

To be continued...

Our Adoption Journey

Our Wedding Day

    It was a very happy day in October 2008. We flew off for a lovely honeymoon, bought our house, and settled into our new life together. Not a storm cloud on the horizon. Life was beautiful. Then came the time we decided we were ready to add children to our home. Our journey into parenthood was going to be simple. Or so we thought. You see, we had it all planned out. Before we were married we spent a great deal of time talking about our future plans and hopes. There was not doubt in our mind that children would take a front and center spot in that future home of ours. In fact, we were quite specific in our plans. We would have our biological children first, then adopt the rest of our family. Reality would not be following our laid out plans.

On our Honeymoon

      After a year of trying to have a biological child it came to us that we just might have an issue here. We read, talked, and read some more. A visit to a doctor was in order. Without running any medical tests some advice was given. Advice that didn't work. Soon we made an appointment with a specialist. This doctor advised treatments that would be time intensive, invasive, and stressful. All in our effort to have a biological child. At that exact point in time Jennifer didn't feel she could go forward with such a plan. Jennifer's mother had moved in with us during the midst of her terminal illness, was on Hospice, and Jennifer was her primary caregiver. Jennifer was unable to leave her mother for 5 minutes in the house by herself at that point, let alone for multiple appointments. That type of infertility intervention would have to wait. A third doctor was visited to find some simpler medical help. Several medications were tried to no avail. By now we both were weary of the money, time, and stress involved with continued efforts to have a biological child.   

On our first year anniversary trip

     For some reason God has not opened the door to biological children either through prayer or medical intervention thus far.  So we began the journey we had always intended on taking, the journey into adoption.

     We knew we could and would love our adopted children just as we would a biological child. Jennifer had immediate family that was adopted , and we had friends who had adopted all or some of their children.

After church picnic in the park

    We are at this time praying that God will open the doors to the children who are to be in our home. We look forward to the day when we will be parents, and prepare ourselves for that time. We don't know when or how that door will open, but we hope that the time will come soon.